One Leak (with apologies to the Barenaked Ladies)
It’s been one week since you leaked to us
Codega’s article dropped, you said, “We’re greedy”
Five business days in the US
Saying, “We’ll be sharing more soon, thanks for your patience.”
Three days since the D&D Beyond tweet
We realize it’s a C-level’s fault, but c’mon now
Yesterday, a canceled stream
But it’ll still be two days ‘til you say you’re sorry
Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As your website crash, link
It’s like you’re runnin’ from Vecna, man
You try to stop a Paizo with an OGL, then Kobold says,
Looks like you’re jumpin’ outta frying pan
Hot like a dragon when you hoard gold
Big like MCDM, ‘cuz they’re all about the weird dice
Eight years y’all had some mad hits
We made you mad rich, you try to hold us but we bust through
Gonna make a break, the leak’s no fake
Kickstarter’s got a quarter rake
I’d like a goddamn license I can work with
Gotta let us know, ‘cuz then we’ll blow
All those VTTs wanna grow
‘Cuz you’re so mad you’ll make us sign away our work tho
How can think you’re funny when you’re this bad?
Trying hard just to smile, though I feel sad
I’m the kind of guy who writes for Tribality
Can’t understand what I mean? Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my blog
I have a history of breaking down UA
It’s been one leak since you spoke to me
Threw your arms in the air and said, “We’re greedy”
Five days since we heckled you
I’ve still got the sick burns on D&D’s
It’s been three days since the afternoon
We realized it’s kinda Dancey’s fault not a moment too soon
Yesterday, you canceled streams
And now I sit back and wait ‘til you say you’re sorry
One D&D, don’t call it Sixth Edition
You have a big revision and your brain stops tickin’
Watching Excel files with no lights on
Spells are tres bon
I hope Paladin’s in this one
You nerf the Bard, I’m getting frantic
Sneak Attack antics
Like Guidance, guaranteed dissatisfied
Like Holy Order I make mad builds, ‘kay I don’t make builds,
But if I did they’d keep my AC high
Gonna get a set of better dice
Gonna find the kind that don’t roll 1s
Even if inspiration is always flying off the back-swing
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
‘Cuz that cartoon has got the cool magic babes
That make me love a sorcery thing
How can think you’re funny when you’re this bad?
Trying hard just to smile, though I feel sad
I’m the kind of guy who writes for Tribality
Can’t understand what I mean? Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my blog
I have a history of breaking down UA
It’s been one hour since your post reached me
Dropped your plans to the side and said, “We’re sorry,”
Five minutes since I laughed at you and said
“You just did just what I thought you were gonna do”
Three minutes since the Twitter boom
You realized a suit’s to blame but what could you do?
Right now, you just smiled at me
‘Cuz it’ll still be two days ‘til an OGL’s ready
It’ll still be two days ‘til an OGL’s ready
It’ll still be two days ‘til they say “ORC’s ready”
Barenaked Ladies, please don’t sue meeee
Editor’s note: Events moved quickly during the writing of this post. I was scrambling to keep up just in the course of a few hours on Friday.
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